Porsche Spinout--The Real Story

["John Dohrmann" <jdohrmann@domain.elided>]

By now you have read all the arguments about rear engine cars, lift, dive,
moment of inertia, sliding weights, smooth tires etc.  So it is high time I
offer the (probably) true story of the spinning Porsche.

Our victim, the driver of the Porsche, was cruising happily along the
autobahn (Interstate) thinking good German thoughts and humming a stirring
song about Bier, Wurst und vollgasfest!  Then something in his rear view
mirror catches his eye.  Was is das? he thinks.  He looks again.  A very
small car, but somehow manly yet sexy.  Yes, it is an Alfa Romeo.  His mind
fills with images of Alfas.  Alfas winning races.  Alfas with the top down.
Alfas driven by beautiful women.  Italian women.  And as he stares into his
mirror and tries to remember the words to "Ciao Ciao Bambino", he drifts
ever closer to that Bronco on his right.  When the Bronco driver blasts his
air horn, the startled Porsche driver wisely jerks the wheel to the left,
and unwisely jabs at the brakes.  Und sehr schnell he has completed a full
spin.  The driver of the Alfa, who was listening to NPR and wondering
whether to drain the Redline out of his tranny and go back to Spirax,
smoothly dodges the developing multi-car pileup, thanks in part to the poly
bushings in his front suspension.  Later, he ponders the fate of rear engine
cars.
At least, I'm pretty sure that's how it happened.

John (Johann Dietrich) Dohrmann

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