Side Pipe Symphony

[Scott Fisher <sfisher71@domain.elided>]

Well, I've been sitting here for an hour and my head
has just about stopped ringing.  I've just finished a
ten-hour drive, the last four of which were top-down
through California's central valley.  It's spring in
Orland, or Winters, or pretty much any place south of
Shasta; the perfume of the almond orchards at each
side of the 505 was heady and almost intoxicating,
even blazing through at 70 mph.

But.

About the time I crossed Lake Shasta, I noticed a
rumble from under the car, then a roar, that grew
louder with throttle and/or RPMs.  About the time I
got off the freeway just south of Red Bluff for a
fluid exchange break, it was obvious I'd suffered a
rupture somewhere in the exhaust system, fairly far
forward.

Leaving the gas station, my '74 Spider sounded like a
cross between a Harley Davidson and a P-47D
Thunderbolt, with a bit more random noise thrown in
for good measure.  After taking care of the driver's
fluids at the nearest burger joint, I dropped down
beside the car to see if I could tell just where the
breach had occurred.

It *looks* as though the whole pipe that exits the
frontmost "muffler" (or resonator) has broken
circumferentially -- the tube that exits the
resonator, as well as the two mufflers behind it,
moves freely and clanks against the resonator when I
wiggled it with my foot.  (Makes sense -- the
resonator was the only piece I did NOT replace with
new metal when the middle muffler went wonky a year
and a half ago, because it "looked okay.")

I already have Plans A through D for dealing with it,
where A is to take it to the Magic Muffler that fixed
exactly this problem on my '67 GT Junior six years
ago.  As a "get me home cheap" fix, I'm going to
suggest (Plan A) that they run a bead all the way
around the break.  If it costs me $20 and lasts a
thousand miles, I'm fine.

If not (plan B): cut out the resonator and slip-fit a
piece of straight pipe, held on with muffler clamps if
necessary.  Shouldn't task their skills -- they did
good work with the Junior's resonator.  (Plan B-prime,
if they can't: do the same thing myself, with a
flex-hose from Pep Boys...)

Plans C and D are predictable: C is to have them just
put in a new resonator, if Norman's got some in stock
(they can often same-day courier the parts).  D is
really an "after A or B" plan -- go with a Supersprint
or Stebro after I get home.

But in the meanwhile, the SOUND.  Under some
circumstances, of course, it's just nasty -- there's a
boomy, hissy, puffy sound to it that sounds like a car
whose muffler has just fallen out.  On the other
hand...

I was coming down the 580, through the Sunol Grade no
doubt familiar to Bay Area Alfisti, heading from
Pleasanton to Miplitas.  Construction on the road
meant that there were jersey barriers at each side.  I
was in the #1 (leftmost) lane, traffic moving about 75
mph, and we came up on the jersey barrier, a few feet
off my left side.

The echoes of the nearly-open exhaust reverberated off
the concrete, sounding for all the world like a flight
of P-51D Mustangs diving out of the sun to strafe the
start of the Italian Grand Prix circa 1950.  At 75
mph, the wind noise whipped away the ugly, muddy
noise, leaving only the unmuffled scream of the
2-liter out the resonator.  I did a blip-throttle
downshift to 4th for the sole purpose of running the
car up to 5500 RPM or so and then upshifting.  God, it
sounded like the Mulsanne Straight, the Stelvio Pass,
the tunnel at Monaco, all wrapped up in one.

So, anybody know what I should do to keep this part of
the sound and get rid of the ugly parts?  I'm sure
it's wrong to just have them run a pipe out the back
of the resonator and have it exit in front of the
wheel... yes?

--Scott Fisher
  Tualatin, Oregon
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