The definitive BEER mechanic

[Duane Collie <drcollie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

>From: Christian Els <tiAn@domain.elided>
>Subject: RE: Beer as a Measure of Work <wob>
>
>I find that whenever I perchance to be under the hood accompanied by an
>alcoholoic beverage of my choice, I inevitably wind up abandonning said
>beverage in a remote corner of my workbench or on the roof of the car as
>it has gotten in the way of grabbing this tool or spilling that fluid,
>or raising my fist in anger at the unjust lot I must suffer or
>something.
>
>Does this mean that I am too easily engrossed in spinning wrenches, or
>not suitably enamored of swilling ale? Will my car never quite be fixed
>correctly because of this deficiency?

Chris,

Actually, this means you are approaching the 'work' on the car all wrong.
See, you are obviously going out to the garage to A) Work on the Car and B)
have a beer while working on the car.  This is all wrong and leads to
sloppy work.

IN TRUTH, the correct Bimwad way is to decide that: A) You want to drink
Beer.  B) The garage is a good place to drink said beer, and C) the car is
in the garage so we'll fiddle with it as beer drinking is boring looking at
a concrete floor.

Therefore the priority is, without a doubt, to DRINK BEER.  If the car gets
worked on - that's O.K., but it is not the mission statememt. The # 1
Priority always works better when one invites 3 or 4 fellow Bimwads to
participate in the session. Usually that way, there is at least one fellow
tinkering on the car at all times, whilest the others are belching,
bullshitting, or looking for something to eat.  

Interestingly enough, certain values go out the window when doing
round-robin. pass around mechanics.

Bimwad Buddy : "Hey Duane - whazza torque setting for this nut?"

Me:  "Just don't twist it off and it'll <....burp....> be fine."

Biwad Buddy: "Use the 1/2" Impact Gun set on '5'?"

Me: "Sure - why not?"

The only garage crisis usually happens when the last of the Rolling Rock is
consumed, which thereupon requirea a BEER RUN to the Mini-mart,  a
hazardous occurence in an ///M car full of Bimwads.

Duane Collie

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End of bmw-digest V9 #700
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