[Prev][Next][Index][Thread]

Darwin Award Nominee...

This should take some of the heat off BMW drivers (or at least jokes about us):

Chevy Pilot Nominated for "Darwin Award"


You all know about the Darwin Awards -- It's an annual honor given to the
person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in
the most extraordinarily stupid way.  Last year's award went to a fellow who
was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was
attempting to tip a free soda out of it.  

And this year's nominee is ....

   The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded
into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of the curve.
The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.  The
type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.  The lab finally figured out
what it was and what had happened.  It seems that a guy had somehow gotten
hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off which is actually a solid fuel
rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push"
for taking off from short airfields.  He had driven his Chevy Impala out
into the desert and found a long stretch of straight road.  Then he attached
the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the
JATO!  The facts as best could be determined are that the operator of the
1967 Impala hit JATO  ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from
the crash site.  This was established by the prominent scorched and melted
asphalt at that location.  The JATO if operating properly would have maximum
thrust within five seconds,  causing the Chevy to reach speeds of 350 mph
and continuing at full power for an additional 20 - 25 seconds.  The driver,
soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually
reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, basically
causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event.  However
the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15 - 20
seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing
the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface,  Then becoming
airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a
height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater three feet deep in the rock.