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Halloween II

I thought Halloween was over, but something _very_ wierd is going on here. 
My wife went out to start my '81 320i this evening and she said it was acting
"funny" so I tried it.  When I turned the key the electric fan came on and
the brake wear light comes on along with the oil and alternator lights that
normally come on.  No starter and I don't think I could even hear the
solenoid clicking.  Battery is brand new and fully charged.  It worked just
fine a couple of hours earlier.  It had just been driven in the rain, but
this seems to strange to be some kind of short circuit.

Does anyone have any idea where I should start?  I do have the Haynes manual.

Thanks for any help.

[email protected]
Kalamazoo, Michigan