How do you drive an auto tranny? General handling/driving info sought

[Jonathan Coates <jon@domain.elided>]

After the heel and toe double declutch debacle I thought I would throw one 
in for you regarding auto transmissions, especially for those on the other 
side of the pond where I understand autos are more common.
In my Manuel RWD cars I always got the best cornering feel by stepping on 
the gas gradually, or not sometimes, coming out of a corner. Gearchanging 
happening on the slowing down into the corner bit, NOT on or near the apex. 
Maybe this is all wrong, however SWMBO like the auto trans BMWs and just 
got a 535i and I need to find out how to go fast in it without tipping it 
over and embarrasing myself.
My problem is that as I get on the gas out of a corner the bloody thing 
drops down a gear or two getting quite unstable (well it feels it anyway) 
and a bit scary. Is that what the numbers by the shifter are for, to force 
it down gears?
TIA
Jonathan Coates, who doesn't like autos, nor even BMWs (big heavy things)

BTW It is about as fast as my 164 12V, about as big inside.
It is not comfortable to drive
It has big expensive tyres
It uses 25% more fuel than the 164
It has mostly the same electrics so I can assimilate rotor arms, dizzy caps 
as necessary.
Kids like it though as it resembles a bouncy castle with stock suspension 
(Staying that way, not mine, nothing to do with me, dont like it, don't 
want to like it)
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