The Berlina Cleans Up

[Scott Fisher <sfisher71@domain.elided>]

Saturday was a glorious sunny day here in Portland, so
I decided to tempt the weather fates and wash my cars.
 

Cars are, in at least one sense, like kids: those of
you with more than one child know you can't come home
with just ONE toy/candy bar/holiday card, you have to
bring something for EVERYONE or it's Just Not Fair. 
And so it is with cars: you can't wash just ONE, you
have to wash them ALL or they get cranky and pout.

The new Berlina, of course, was the impetus for this,
because the paint looked as though it was probably
pretty good under a light hazing of "bloom" -- whitish
oxidation that looked as though it would remove fairly
easily with the right stuff.  And of course the
interior was all full of leaf crud from when I opened
the air vents on the freeway at 70 mph and years of
detritus went FOOM out into the passenger's
compartment like someone let off a chaff grenade.  The
shop vacuum made short work of this, and then did
likewise for the leaf litter in the Spider's
footwells.  A liberal application of Murphy's Oil Soap
on the wood and door panels, followed by some of the
nice-smelling Meguiar's plastic treatment, and the
interior looked remarkably nice.

Then it was time for the bucket and mitt.  In addition
to the Berlina and the Spider, there was no getting
around washing my Audi Coupe rain-car/long-distance
runner.  I'd left it parked at Jeff's while we were
picking up the Berlina last week, and it appears the
tree I parked it under is the outdoor toilet for half
the birds in the Tualatin river valley, as the car
(normally a festive orange-red) was about 20% covered
with white splotches.  How lovely.  And the bugs were
still on the prow of the Spider from our tour up the
northern San Joaquin Valley from the first week in
March, so off they came too.

Now, three cars devoid of crud, but what about the
condition of the paint?  Again, I was itching to get
at the Berlina's paint, so I started there.  Indeed,
the "Klasse" brand paint polish/sealant did a
wonderful job (as usual) without a lot of work -- the
car's panels looked deeper and richer as I worked
around the doors, fenders and roof.  At one point I
was sitting between the two cars, looking into the now
gleaming flanks of the Berlina, in which I could
clearly see reflected the image of the dark green
Spider.  Damn, that would have made a good ad shot for
Alfa, c. 1974.  Wish I'd taken a picture (Joe, we'll
have to set one up soon...)

The Spider's paint is still in excellent condition,
but only because I haven't let it sit for years
without attention.  So instead of the polish, I just
put on a coat of carnauba wax over Baby's
already-shiny paint.  Well, THAT is another photo-op:
two '74 Alfas right beside one another, one burgundy,
one BRG, one with a roof and four doors, one with a
black canvas top and those sexy Pininfarina headlight
covers.  Lovely, just lovely.  And if you don't look
at the rust spot at the base of the Berlina's
A-pillar... damn, the two cars are just about equally
good-looking, condition-wise.  I took pity on the poor
Audi and made one pass over it with the Klasse stuff
and removed enough oxidation to turn the rag burnt
orange.  Boy, that car cleans up well, too.  A nice
trio, representing three great Italian styling houses:
Giugiaro's crisp ItalDesign for the Audi,
Pininfarina's decade-long exercise for the Spider, and
Marcello Gandini's cleanup of the Giulia for Bertone
on the Berlina.  I need a Touring and a Zagato now to
have a full house...

Easter Sunday, we were headed to Jeff's house for an
Easter egg hunt with his daughter Kate and our three
kids.  Somehow, on the way out to Mom's car, the kids
decided they had to try out the Berlina for size. 
There wasn't room for all five of us (with seatbelts,
anyway), but as it turned out we came up with a plan
to split up at Jeff's anyway, so out came the Berlina
keys and I took the kids over to the farm.  On the way
there, they christened the burgundy Berlina: it's now
the Voot Cruiser (fans of Jhonen Vasquez'
magnificently warped "Invader Zim" will know
IMMEDIATELY why).

After finding all the candy-filled eggs and not
mashing Jill's garden in the process, I took my two
girls and Jeff and we headed out to a store said to
carry Invader Zim gear, only to find the entire mall
closed for Easter.  We consoled ourselves by taking
the scenic route home, conveniently arranged to stop
by the Tillamook Ice Creamery in Lake Oswego, where I
thought the most Italianate ice cream flavor was white
licorice: a rich vanilla ice cream with a delicate
anisette flavor, as though it was laced with Sambuca. 
(Next time, get a double scoop and add espresso.)

We noticed that the Berlina seems to ride and even
handle much better with four people in the car, as if
the added compression from Jeff, Torrey and Bronwen
pushed the shocks down to a place where the rods
aren't so worn.  No, I'm not going to put sandbags in
the trunk -- Rainer Hurtienne has Konis for $55 USD
per corner, which is an even better deal than the KYBs
at Centerline, so a big chunk of the April car budget
will be shipped to Germany in return for some of
Holland's finest dampers.  

But it was dramatic: one Saturday afternoon, some
elbow grease, and liberal application of the Universal
Solvent (the owner's sweat) has this Berlina looking
like a gem instead of a diamond in the rough.  And
this isn't even with the good interior -- we'll see if
I can install that next Saturday.  For a few more
weekends and a couple hundred dollars in parts, I'm
going to have one of the best looking Berlinas I've
ever seen.  And by the time we get the rusty patches
repaired, it'll be stunning.

--Scott Fisher
  Tualatin, Oregon
.
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