AlfaSex-tongue in cheek

[David Ziglin <davidz@mail.execpc.com>]

"Howard Warren" wrote





"Hmmm... so behaving as an alpha male leads to an increase in
testosterone... and an increase in testosterone leads to an increase in
sexual activity... with this in mind, does anybody want to report an
improvement in their sex life after driving their Alfa?"


No. ( A friend gave me a T-shirt once that had "I'm usually serious"
printed on the front - it's genetic and so it is fully out of my control -
I am but a puppet of my genes ;-)   )

That's my point.    One cannot presume to conclude that an increase in
Testosterone equates with or is directly related to an increase in sexual
activity.  It is entirely possible that a hairy male human with bubbling
levels of testosterone may remain even hands-off-self celibate.  Again,
Nature *and* Nurture equal behavior; they can't be separated except
artificially.  That's why this stuff is so bloody difficult to measure or
even identify.


The question of sexual activity levels as a function of alfa Driving is
wonderful.  What a terrific question.

Listen, if driving an Alfa by itself leads to a more active sex life - quid
pro quo - I would have found a way to drive an Alfa when I was 11.  Good
Grief !!!  The amazing pain I could have avoided during those many periods
of screaming deprivation.  I recall working with my father, a carpenter,
and getting horny when handling boards with knot holes.  ( Do you believe
that?  Don't.  I'm only usually serious.)

However, here are some thoughts that leap to mind in response to the above
proocation :

Given that we are speaking of, in this case, male Alfa drivers, what part
do the following have on our subjects' "sexual activity"?

*  The color of the car :  Is there a libidonous reason for the popularity
of Red?  Do drivers of red Alfas get more action than those driving ones in
vintage puke green?

*  The particular kind of Alfa :  We all know that a guy in a Duetto has a
hell of a better chance of scoring than a guy in a Montreal, right?  Of
course.  So, what are the most sexally provocative Alfas to women?

*  Driving style : In what way does driving style - the totality of all
Alfa driving facets - influence female sexual stimulation.  Consider the
various and subtlely different ways there are to maniulate a shift lever,
and execute a gear change : the pauser in neutral, the speed shifter, the
double clutcher, the no-clutch shifter, the heel and toer, the fondler
..........

   Damn, it's complicated.

*  Clothing : I can often be seen driving my Duetto into town while wearing
bib overalls and racing shoes.  I mean, I do change my footwear from boots.
I love to drive my Alfa.  The striped overalls are for Sunday.  What do you
think?  Sexually provocative or just earthy? I don't think that driving
into East troy is a valid experiment.

*  Tattooing  ( Tattoo is one of three Polonisian words in the English
language) :  So, here is this alpha male on the make in his Alfa.  How
might the tattoo influence the impact of the total package?  What kind of
tattoo (s) might he have?

         How about the other sex?

*  What kind of woman is attracted to what kind of an Alfa and what kind of
Alfa driver?


             enough

Good Luck ( snicker snicker )

David